When I found the lump..

I’ve been asked this question so many times, and I get mad at myself cause I can’t fully remember. I can’t remember exactly what date it was and I think that’s what frustrates me the most.

I use my phone calendar for everything, and I looked back and saw my first doctors appointment was June 7th, 2016. So I’m pretty sure I found it at the end of May.

What I do remember is that it was the second last day of my period and my boobs were hurting. They were hurting way more then usual during that time of the month, my left one was hurting the most. I was sitting on my living room couch and I gave myself a breast exam. I felt my left one first and that’s when I felt my lump. It was quite big, it didn’t hurt, and I could move it around a bit. I felt my right one and found nothing. So I assumed that I had a lump because I was on my period.- Which is normal, and they say not to do a breast exam during your period.

I kept an eye on the lump for a week. When it didn’t go away after that week, I called my doctor. My doctor in Orangeville was a male, and I didn’t feel comfortable having him feel my boobs, so I met with a nurse practitioner. She examined me, and said well since breast cancer doesn’t run in your family and it’s movable, it’s probably just a fibroid. She sent me for an ultrasound on June 15th, and then told me that I’d have to meet with a surgeon, and the surgeon will decide what to do. So I met with a surgeon on July 25th and she was awful! She told me that since breast cancer didn’t run in my family, and I was too young to have it, that it’s probably just a fibroid, and that it is up to me if i’d want to remove it or leave it.

I left being more confused then ever. I remember leaving that appointment and crying in Andrew’s truck, feeling so frustrated. I felt she didn’t care, and I was pissed off at her for making me decide. I even asked her what she recommended and again she said well if it’s not bothering you and it’s not growing, you can leave it.- It didn’t hurt me, and it didn’t feel like it was growing, but I wanted her to be more caring and concerned.

Anyways, she sent a referral over to the Orangeville Hospital for me to get a biopsy done. The hospital called me a week later, saying I have an appointment the following week.- This is where I guess I fucked up.. Andrew and I were selling our house in Orangeville, and buying a house in Georgetown all around this time. We were also switching family doctors to one in Georgetown. I decided to cancel the biopsy appointment in Orangeville cause the timing was tight, with the move and all, and I wanted to talk to my new family doctor. I was told by a nurse practitioner and a surgeon that there was nothing for me to worry about, and to be honest it wasn’t hurting me and I never thought I could get breast cancer.

So three months past, and it’s October 18th. I meet with my new family doctor in Georgetown. We go through the same questions- How old are you? Does breast cancer run in your family? When did you feel the lump?. She did a breast exam on me and afterwards said the same thing, “It feels like a fibroid.” She said breast cancer doesn’t run in your family, you are too young to get it, it’s movable, it hasn’t grown, all signs of a fibroid. She said that I would have to go meet a surgeon, and then get referred to get a biopsy done.- At this point I knew all this.

It took me a while to get an appointment with the surgeon. The date was December 6th, I walked in and she asked me all the same questions. She also did a breast exam and said “It feels like a fibroid.” She referred me to the Georgetown Hospital, who called me a few weeks later. The hospital wanted me to get my biopsy done December 27th, but I was in Edmonton during this time, so I asked if I could have it done come the New Year.
They scheduled me in on January 4th, 2017.

.. Six days it took for the results to come in.
I was told I had breast cancer on January 10th.

I look back at all this, and I am so angry at myself.
I’m angry that I didn’t act sooner. I think maybe if I did the biopsy in Orangeville during the summer time, things would have been different. Maybe it wasn’t breast cancer at that point. Maybe I could have saved my breast.

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